heart in pieces..

something had happened last night, no.. should be say, many things had happened last night... these all things, make my heart into pieces... my soul like going to leave from my body... i stared blankly to my ceiling for almost whole night.. ya, i didnt slept well last night, sure look like a panda now...

panda look.. i still remember there was someone told me that, he like my panda look..sound funny iznt? hehe.. ya.. but it's sweet and worm when i heard this.. but, now, will he tell me this one more time? i think no.. he wouldnt tell me this anymore

this, really make me sad... i hate people dont trust me, so, i trust my fren well.. but, please dont misuse my trust for u.. i hate people lying too.. so as usually, i wouldnt lie to my fren, if any private question, i'll jz tell u that i cant answer u

but now i finally come to understand that i was too childish.. how can i want people tell me all his things truely, from internet.. it's jz impossible..

but, why? why my heart feel pain? haiz~~

well.. i'll recover soon.. i think.. hope so.. i need time to get my soul back into my body, and need time to stick my heart back.. so guys, i'll appear offline this few days, if u read my blog here.. u'll know how to find me.. of coz, u still can find me if u know me well...

feel so empty..

my mom woke me up early in the morning, if normally, i sure will uproar dont wanna wake up, but today, so different.. i didnt said anything, just do what she ask..
feel so empty in my heart.. damn empty..

fate this thing, very mystical.. why i'll be her daughter, and why she'll be my mom, i also dont know... hehe..

sitting in the car, follow her to a place, well, be her bodyguard too, i'm always like this. looking in the sky through the window of the car, dreaming... and thinking bout a person, ya, thinking bout a guy, we never meet before, i knew him from internet, we chat almost everyday since a month ago, i jz know his name, his age, and everything that he had told me before bout him...

everything that he had told me, i believed.. dont ask me why, i myself also dont know... jz hope all these is true.. but, no matter it's true or not, is none of my business at all, right? he's a popular guy, but i'm jz a poor normall student.. totally from 2 different of world.. different country, different language, different mind-set..

maybe we can jz be fren, net fren.. i always ask myself not to cross over the line, the line of friendship, dont ask for more than that... but, it's really hard.. my mind not stop thiking bout him.. i think, i like him...

but, he dont like me.. i know it.. he like another girl.. haiz.. broken heart now..

this song now very suitable for my feeling, only one - yellow card


Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go...so dishonestly leave a note for you my only one
And I know...you can see right through me
So let me go...and you will find some one
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one...no one like you
You are my only my only one
My only one(x3)
You are my only my only one!

tired~~

jz after done all the housework at home... hu~~ so tired... bet ur guy'll think why i jz do some homework will became so tired like this... and bet ur guy must be dunno also how big my house is, triple storey house... (dont be too surprise...) in it has 6 big rooms, 2 living rooms, 2 balconies... (god damn it...why so big???) really dont understand why my parent wanna bought this house, jz only sweep all the floor, i really already pant for it... somemore need to mop... damn...i need to prepare medicine for my asthma... (fall in faint....)

besides that, sometime i also need to clean the toilet... i really HATE to do this... ah, my house hv many toilet too o... haiz~~ 5 toilets... really enough for all my family member to use toilet at the same time, still got 1 more toilet be left... haha~~

besides all these, in my house still can find 1 more thing is in many... that is... air-conditioner... haha~ got 6 of it... hehe~ so, almost every 1 or 2 months i'll become as a techinician for it... clean the air-conditioner, i know this actually should be a guy's job, but... my bro jz too stupid in doing this, my dad wouldnt care for this and my mom dunno at all in this (they all jz know how to use it...hehe~~), so... that's why lu...

i wonder why my parent wanna bought this house.... too big for only 4 members... somemore, why must only girl need to do all the housework, damn jealous to my bro, why boy no need to do housework, not fair at all.... >.<|||

BIG bread as breakfast

this is my BIG bread bought jz now, so big iznt? haha~ jz came out from a big microwave oven of the bakeshop... still hot~~ above of this bread full of cheese... i wonder if i eat this bread everyday, will i become fatter and fatter... haha~ very hungry now, i hv 2 start my breakfast lu~

ta ta yi ki masu...

A good fine morning

2day is a good fine morning, not too sun shine and with a gentle breeze weather....i look up the sky, and take a deep breathe... wow, feel very comfortable... what a lovely weather is this... i think i fall in love with the sky now... hehe~ ^__^

suddenly, i reliase that my plant ady come into 2 little pinky flower... so nice and pretty.... proud for myself, although i didnt gave them drank water everyday... :p i take a pic for them... so lovely flower... jz like me... hehe~ (dont u all guy also think like me... haha~~)

finally, i take my lovely flower 2gather with my lovely sky... wow, what a prefect match they are... i'm so clever, i think i got the potentiality to be a photographer... haha~ (so arrogant... bler..)

Add a nice song here

i jz add a nice song here, it's Running Away from Midnight Hour... the words of this song is very fulfill my feeling now... just like living in a jail now, all the things also control by my mom, really wanna break out the cage and keep running away...

i still remember when i study in college, the course i take really hard, computer programming, all the programming code hv 2 memories, i really make great effort on it, study until midnight for almost everyday... but why i work hard so much? not jz becoz for myself, i jz wanna prove to my parents that what my bro can do, i also can do it... i'm not a stupid child for them...

finally the final exam had passed, i came back very happy and told my mom that i score a very good result on it, but guess what she answered me, she jz gv me a cool reply "SO WHAT".... wow, what a cool reply is this, make me shocked... and sad too...

after her cool reply "SO WHAT", she kept on her sentences, told me that what ever i had done, all this things, actually is jz for my own good, it's my responsibility to do it well... somemore, good or worse, none of her business at all, her responsibility is jz grow me up until i get married only... really dunno what she's thinking about...

althought this incident ady passed quite a long time, but it's hard to forget bout it... maybe i jz so care for my mom... listening the song now again and again.....

Beijing olympic

this beautiful ball mean the earth, all the olympian from different country can be harmonious when having competition , just like we all are same live in a same earth...

Wow, it's really imposing olympics that i never watch b4... so many people... most important is, althought there are many people, but they still can arrange themselves in very tidy form...

that's my country's flag... Malaysia~~ hurei.... Malaysia boleh... (mean Malaysia can...)

those are olympian from japan, can u see it, mieke, from ur country...

so many firewood... it's so beautiful... well, they release so many firewood just to prove that China is the 1st country who invent gunpowder... i'm proud to be a chineses...

A funny firewood with a smiling face on the sky of beijing~~ ^__^