Beijing olympic

this beautiful ball mean the earth, all the olympian from different country can be harmonious when having competition , just like we all are same live in a same earth...

Wow, it's really imposing olympics that i never watch b4... so many people... most important is, althought there are many people, but they still can arrange themselves in very tidy form...

that's my country's flag... Malaysia~~ hurei.... Malaysia boleh... (mean Malaysia can...)

those are olympian from japan, can u see it, mieke, from ur country...

so many firewood... it's so beautiful... well, they release so many firewood just to prove that China is the 1st country who invent gunpowder... i'm proud to be a chineses...

A funny firewood with a smiling face on the sky of beijing~~ ^__^

thank fren...

my emotion getting better now.. thank all my fren.. thank for ur all concern...

i'll be strong, be the kumiko as u know, always put the smile on my face... so, dont worry
what my mom said to me, that's just too hurt... so, now, i just need time to recover..
just gv me some time, i'll find my smile back... hope so...

thank ya, mieke... the pic u drew for me, really make me laugh jz now (although my tears still on my face, make me look so strange, laugh and cry...) i promise u i'll be strong, ok? so, dont worry..
the pic that mieke drew for me, he said if i still keep crying, later i'll become ugly like this... hehe~

my mom told me jz now, if i keep shut myself in the room, she'll drive me away... if really so, where else can i go?
can i go to u, mieke? (jz kidding...)

olympic at beijing will start later, although my mood not too good 2day, but i will still watch it live on tv...

gambate kumiko, gambate my fren and gambate mieke...
arigato....

lost control..

god damn... i had lost control now, tears keep dropping... why i'll become like this, why... why...

becoz of my mom, i argue with her, again and again.... i really tired for that...really wanna stop this war.. but why it still continue happening... why...

damn it... my heart is bleeding now... pain... really pain... how could u said this to me? how could u said u really wanna kill me, if can dont wana gv birth to me? if u really do, then why u dtill born me to this world.. mom, i'm really proud to be ur daugther... that ever thing u wan me 2 do, i alwasy follow, cook 4 u, clean the house, do all the housework...but why? why u alwasy so cruel to me? mom...

i know u always love bro only, but, i'm ur child too.. why u dont ever hug me when i was sad or crying? u always give all the best things to bro, i didnt jealous at all... u alwasy let bro to eat all the meat, egg, but i just can ate some vegetable, i always told myself, bro is man, need eat all this to be strong, i just a girl, eat too much will become fat.. i always tell myself this...

i know compare with bro, i always is the loser... but i ady do my best in everything... i keep work hard in my study... but why? why u dont ever look to me? mom... (damn it, my my keyboard full with my tears now..)

what i gonna do to make u love me? tell me... my heart is pain now... cannt breath... damn it...
no matter how u treat me. i still wanna tell u, mom, i really love u... i 'm not mean to hurt u...
lost control again... crying like mad now...

the 1st blog in my life time

Today is 7/8/2008, this is the 1st blog that i've been create in my life time... proud now.. hehe~
erm.... now i'm alone in my study room, listening a english sad love song here, outside of my house is raining, the feeling of loneliness had getting stronger...

The feeling now make me think back my 1st bf, i still can remember, everytime when i felt alone, he'll alwasy know, will always came to me or called me then... i really miss the time when be with him, miss his smile when he smile to me, miss his smell when he hugged me tight, miss his hand when putting on my face, miss his lip when kissing me... miss his everything...

but... all these had been passed... broke up with him for almost 2 years, without giving me any reason, suddenly disappeared in my life one day, without any hint or signal... i cant remember how many day actually i keep finding for him, thinking for him, calling for him... how can he suddenly leave me like this? what was going on? so many question in my mind...

dunno how long had been passed, suddenly he came back to me one day, same, without any signal, make me really shocked, he said wanna be with me again, sorry for leaving me so suddenly that time. but what i said to him is, NO, of coz, i wouldnt forgive him, that had hurt me so badly... i still can remember that feeling, heart was bleeding... can heard the sound of my heart got broke, so clearly...

sometime i used to think, if i forgive him that time, what will happen to us now... will us both happy like before, or he'll leave me again like 1st time, without any hint to me...

the rain outside has stop now, i open my window, the coldish air had blew to my face....