the 1st blog in my life time

Today is 7/8/2008, this is the 1st blog that i've been create in my life time... proud now.. hehe~
erm.... now i'm alone in my study room, listening a english sad love song here, outside of my house is raining, the feeling of loneliness had getting stronger...

The feeling now make me think back my 1st bf, i still can remember, everytime when i felt alone, he'll alwasy know, will always came to me or called me then... i really miss the time when be with him, miss his smile when he smile to me, miss his smell when he hugged me tight, miss his hand when putting on my face, miss his lip when kissing me... miss his everything...

but... all these had been passed... broke up with him for almost 2 years, without giving me any reason, suddenly disappeared in my life one day, without any hint or signal... i cant remember how many day actually i keep finding for him, thinking for him, calling for him... how can he suddenly leave me like this? what was going on? so many question in my mind...

dunno how long had been passed, suddenly he came back to me one day, same, without any signal, make me really shocked, he said wanna be with me again, sorry for leaving me so suddenly that time. but what i said to him is, NO, of coz, i wouldnt forgive him, that had hurt me so badly... i still can remember that feeling, heart was bleeding... can heard the sound of my heart got broke, so clearly...

sometime i used to think, if i forgive him that time, what will happen to us now... will us both happy like before, or he'll leave me again like 1st time, without any hint to me...

the rain outside has stop now, i open my window, the coldish air had blew to my face....