lost control..

god damn... i had lost control now, tears keep dropping... why i'll become like this, why... why...

becoz of my mom, i argue with her, again and again.... i really tired for that...really wanna stop this war.. but why it still continue happening... why...

damn it... my heart is bleeding now... pain... really pain... how could u said this to me? how could u said u really wanna kill me, if can dont wana gv birth to me? if u really do, then why u dtill born me to this world.. mom, i'm really proud to be ur daugther... that ever thing u wan me 2 do, i alwasy follow, cook 4 u, clean the house, do all the housework...but why? why u alwasy so cruel to me? mom...

i know u always love bro only, but, i'm ur child too.. why u dont ever hug me when i was sad or crying? u always give all the best things to bro, i didnt jealous at all... u alwasy let bro to eat all the meat, egg, but i just can ate some vegetable, i always told myself, bro is man, need eat all this to be strong, i just a girl, eat too much will become fat.. i always tell myself this...

i know compare with bro, i always is the loser... but i ady do my best in everything... i keep work hard in my study... but why? why u dont ever look to me? mom... (damn it, my my keyboard full with my tears now..)

what i gonna do to make u love me? tell me... my heart is pain now... cannt breath... damn it...
no matter how u treat me. i still wanna tell u, mom, i really love u... i 'm not mean to hurt u...
lost control again... crying like mad now...