the beautiful scene of evening jz now~ hehe..

haiz~ almost didnt online for a week.. becoz of the damn streamxy.. line always got problem.. called the technician 3 times only came and fixed.. and now the problem finally solved.. thank god, i finally can online lu~ hahaha~

followed the technician went behind of my house.. saw a snail.. took down it's pic.. hehe~


ah, almost forget one thing, i change my chinese name ady, coz some problem, need to change, now my chinese name is 颜岑彧, cen yu.. hehe~ but u guys still can call me kumiko or miko.. i like u guys call my nick name..

today i finally finish all my exam paper~~ yeah~(^_^)v

the last subject for today was Database.. really damn hard, i just know 2/3 of all the question.. i think i can pass for this subject.. hope so~ hehe~

just after my exam, i called my bro, he's now at Cameron Highland.. so bad, dont take me along.. then i went to KLCC to look for vacancy.. coz will hv 3 ~ 4 months free, so i decided to work, like this only wouldnt wasting my time, somemore can earn money too.. ah~ gonna save some money to buy psp..

finally complete my diploma in computer science.. (if can pass all subjects.. hehe~) feel like finally can put down the big stone in my heart.. but actually, i still not very sure for the way of my future.. wanna be a programmer or what.. i really duno.. at 1st i choose this course is becoz i heard some1 said that programmer can earn many momey, also can program game by ownself, well, i really like to play game, that's why i study this course.. but after i hv study, i realized that this is really hard, for me.. maybe i'm stupid or what.. but since i ady started it in my journey of destiny, so i decided that i'll still gonna walk through it.. no matter how.. i'll continue degree in university next year~

head-ache now.. actually ady started head-ache since after exam from evening.. maybe my brain had been used too much.. over-used.. haha~ so, i wanna sleep now~

ja, minna.. oyasumi nasai

these few days, i really felt so moody.. just wondering why my mom can kept on scolding and scolding to us, my bro and me, but of coz, i got scolded more.. haiz~ everyday wake up in the early morning, get scolded.. after taking breakfast, get scolded.. after taking lunch, get scolded.. after study in evening, get scolded.. after dinner, get scolded.. and finally before sleep, get scolded again..

the thing she scold to us, i almost can memories.. life live in this way really boring.. i'm wonderring if what she scolded to me is about the notes of my subject which i'm studying now, i'm sure that i must score a very high mark for it, isnt it great~ haha~~

god, who can tell me, when my happy life will come true? i just want peaceful life.. i just want my mom keep her mouth shut.. i just want to study well to get a better job in future.. i just want a psp.. and i just want someone care bout me..

well.. i'll be patient to wait that day to come.. so before that, i hv to continue to my study now.. hehe~ exam coming soon lu, in this coming saturday.. saturday still need to go to college take for the exam.. haiz~ pray for me la, hope can pass all..

these few days i very busy... jz busy for study... doing revision for my last subject, database.. haiz~ everyday jz study, study and study.. sien~

2day is moon cake festival lo~ but i also dont hv any where to go.. still remember last tie when i was a kid, i like to take my lantern went every where outside my house, 2gather with my fren.. haha~ those memories really nice.. i think i dont hv any change to do so now.. ady old now, still play lantern, later other people will laugh to me.. haha~ but i really miss those memories..

something happened to me yesterday night.. something very terrible to me happened.. i hard to accepted it, really hard... i totally dont hv any idea what should i do in that moment.. totally no.. i jz hide myself in my room.. hide myself in the corner.. i didnt switch on the light.. jz let it dark in the room.. jz let it be..

god.. i cant even stopped my tears.. keep dropping from my face.. my mind kept on replay the terrible moment jz now.. kept on and on.. really lost my control, but who knew it? nobody knew.. i was very scared.. really.. nobody can even help me.. and i'm always alone.. god..

i sms edmond, told him what happened to me, he jz asked me hide myself well and be patience, dont think too much, this kind of problem really nobody can help me..

maybe he's right, no one can help me, even my family, dad and bro also cant me, even themselves also hv no idea for this, i didnt slept well last night.. jz sat on my bed and dreamming, i saw dad also didnt slept, he sat on his bed, eyes looked like blur blur, maybe thinking bout the problem, i knew it really make dad sad.. i knew he love mom very much.. but what can he do? mom ady changed.. her temperament worse from day to day.. jz make all family feel sad..

mom said she got many presure in life, so what ever she asked us to do, jz follow and do for her, no matter what.. this really make me no idea, what kind of presure she had, can make her almost mad.. asked her b4, asnswered us that presure from her work, presure from my dad..somemore presure from my bro and me..

actually all this for me is nonsense.. rubbish.. the most problem for her is money.. if someone give her many many money right now, she sure will become normal immediately.. is very immediatelly.. haiz~ what wanna make money be so so important for herself? really like money so much herr??

so i make promise to myself yesterday, i MUST earn many many money when i start working later.. i must earn as much money as i can.. then give it to her.. since she so love money.. so, now, i must study well, keep hard in study.. no matter she like me or not, i still will do it well, i knew she didnt treat me as her daugther, i knew it pretty well.. i also will give many money to my dad.. his's too suffer now, ady old now but still need to suffer for all these..

i really down these few day.. i feel like i'm very useless.. i cant help them even me myself... i'm useless.. jz know always shut myself in room.. god, please help me

i hate the feeling of crying, but i jz cant stop it(god, i cry like mad now, keyboard getting flooded).. sorry.. really sorry..

chatted with edmond's 2nd elder bro, kenny, in evening.. he told me his is a graphic designer.. he really look similar with edmond.. somemore his elder and youngest bro, tony and hung ping.. all also look similar.. of coz, they all are brothers.. i really jealous to them, can play and talk 2gaher, wouldnt feel lonely at home.. not like me, my bro seldom talk to me, always jz talk with his fren, he called this "man's talk".. haiz~ so sad... if i also can have a sister, iznt it good??

edmond asked for my help jz now, wan me to help him in typing, sent me a pic then typed it in microsoft words.. well, since i'm so nice and free too.. then i decided to help him, he thank to me a lot and promised to pay for my drink if next time go yam cha.. hehe~ (^_^)v