these few days i very busy... jz busy for study... doing revision for my last subject, database.. haiz~ everyday jz study, study and study.. sien~

2day is moon cake festival lo~ but i also dont hv any where to go.. still remember last tie when i was a kid, i like to take my lantern went every where outside my house, 2gather with my fren.. haha~ those memories really nice.. i think i dont hv any change to do so now.. ady old now, still play lantern, later other people will laugh to me.. haha~ but i really miss those memories..

something happened to me yesterday night.. something very terrible to me happened.. i hard to accepted it, really hard... i totally dont hv any idea what should i do in that moment.. totally no.. i jz hide myself in my room.. hide myself in the corner.. i didnt switch on the light.. jz let it dark in the room.. jz let it be..

god.. i cant even stopped my tears.. keep dropping from my face.. my mind kept on replay the terrible moment jz now.. kept on and on.. really lost my control, but who knew it? nobody knew.. i was very scared.. really.. nobody can even help me.. and i'm always alone.. god..

i sms edmond, told him what happened to me, he jz asked me hide myself well and be patience, dont think too much, this kind of problem really nobody can help me..

maybe he's right, no one can help me, even my family, dad and bro also cant me, even themselves also hv no idea for this, i didnt slept well last night.. jz sat on my bed and dreamming, i saw dad also didnt slept, he sat on his bed, eyes looked like blur blur, maybe thinking bout the problem, i knew it really make dad sad.. i knew he love mom very much.. but what can he do? mom ady changed.. her temperament worse from day to day.. jz make all family feel sad..

mom said she got many presure in life, so what ever she asked us to do, jz follow and do for her, no matter what.. this really make me no idea, what kind of presure she had, can make her almost mad.. asked her b4, asnswered us that presure from her work, presure from my dad..somemore presure from my bro and me..

actually all this for me is nonsense.. rubbish.. the most problem for her is money.. if someone give her many many money right now, she sure will become normal immediately.. is very immediatelly.. haiz~ what wanna make money be so so important for herself? really like money so much herr??

so i make promise to myself yesterday, i MUST earn many many money when i start working later.. i must earn as much money as i can.. then give it to her.. since she so love money.. so, now, i must study well, keep hard in study.. no matter she like me or not, i still will do it well, i knew she didnt treat me as her daugther, i knew it pretty well.. i also will give many money to my dad.. his's too suffer now, ady old now but still need to suffer for all these..

i really down these few day.. i feel like i'm very useless.. i cant help them even me myself... i'm useless.. jz know always shut myself in room.. god, please help me

i hate the feeling of crying, but i jz cant stop it(god, i cry like mad now, keyboard getting flooded).. sorry.. really sorry..

chatted with edmond's 2nd elder bro, kenny, in evening.. he told me his is a graphic designer.. he really look similar with edmond.. somemore his elder and youngest bro, tony and hung ping.. all also look similar.. of coz, they all are brothers.. i really jealous to them, can play and talk 2gaher, wouldnt feel lonely at home.. not like me, my bro seldom talk to me, always jz talk with his fren, he called this "man's talk".. haiz~ so sad... if i also can have a sister, iznt it good??

edmond asked for my help jz now, wan me to help him in typing, sent me a pic then typed it in microsoft words.. well, since i'm so nice and free too.. then i decided to help him, he thank to me a lot and promised to pay for my drink if next time go yam cha.. hehe~ (^_^)v

Damn sick now~

got cold last night, i've no idea how i got it, edmond fetched me reached until my house, i didnt "touched" by rain much, how come i can got cold.. haiz~ maybe i got cold during my showering last night.. hehe~

oh god~ hate the feeling now.. damn tired.. somemore still need to teach tuition, work from morning to afternoon, as normal.. now jz dismiss my class, i let them back a bit early, they all didnt blame me at all, whereas, very happy for that.. hehe~
ya i know they must be hope that i can let they back early everytime of the class, sorry kids, but not for other time.. (at least i get sick again, but please dont curse me for that.. hehe~~)

today, toilet roll accompany me whole day, not bad right? at least got some"thing" accompany me.. haha~

jz took a medicine.. have a rest now..

the rain outside hvnt stop.. very cold..

Suddenly feel so down...

this morning, just finished my exam paper of english for science, ah~ it's quite hard, i wrote an eassy bout "advantages and disadvantage of robots as domestic helper", sound hard iznt.. haiz~ hope i can pass this time..

didnt slept well last night,one of my friend sms me around 3am, this woke me up, the sms was about wish me happy mooncake day.. haha~ what a naughty friend, dont know wanna angry with her or thank to her.. hehe~

because of didnt slept well last night, and still need to have exam in the early morning, i felt damn blur after finished my paper.. really wanna rush back home immediately.. unfortunately, i already promised yao zhu to accompmany him to mid vally.. i've no choice and just followed him to there.. haiz~

once we reached there, he took me to MC, haha~ no bad herr~ knew i hungry and pay for my lunch somemore.. good~

waiting for another fren, a new fren, edmond, knew him from tagged, live very near from my house but never meet him before.. wanna meet with him 2day jz becoz wanted him to take yao zhu to his college.. really wanna thank to yao zhu, if not because of him, i think i never dare to meet edmond alone.. well, i'm not cowardly but girl always should be careful and protect herself well.. i always think in this way..

edmond came late becoz of traffic jam, we waited for him for almost 45 min, once his reached, we chatted awhile then his started to take us to his college.. on the way to his college, we saw many sporty cars parked beside the road, i was wondoring that i also wanna buy 1 of these when i become rich later.. duno when my dream will come true ya... haha~

then we took lift and reached edmond's college, Pratique college, for learning interior design.. quite interested.. i really think bout it before when i took computer science course, jz becoz i like drawing too.. hehe~

this college actually quite small, if compare with tar college, of coz~ haha~ the most funny was their corner called "library", just a cupboard of books, compare with the library in tar college, really big big different.. haha~

after had a look of Pratique college, we went back to mid vally and had a walk there.. edmond be a tourist guide of us, kept showing us the "famous" shops of mid vally, even the entrance he also mentioned that "famous entrance", sound funny iznt? haha~

we took KTM for going back, yao zhu back by himself from another side of KTM, i took 2gather with edmond, we went down after 3 stations passed then he fetched me home.. when i 1st saw his car, really felt wanna laugh, his both sit-cover in his car was in strawberry design.. haha~ what a lovely sit-cover, for me.. but he seem dont like it much, told me that his mother put it for him.. haha~

we chatted lot in the journey of going back home, he's a nice talking guy, so straight and cute~ sometime blur blur, sometime humor.. haha~ but unfortunately, he ady got gf~~~ i'm wondering why now i still cant find a bf, since i had broke up with my xbf 2 yrs ago~ haiz~~~

this really make me feel so down now~~ somemore i jz get a cold jz now, maybe becoz of the weather, always raining these few days.. hard to breath now~ mental and physical suffer... haiz~~~~

1st time to be a MODEL in my lifetime (^_^)v

today is a very special day in my lifetime, coz i 1st time be a model~ i never be other people's model before.. that's kind of feeling is too strong.. and very funny.. hehe~ 1st time let people make up on my face..

my title of the make up is called "mask", the person who make up for me told me this, actually it more look like japanese mask, in my opinion.. firstly, she put a very thick white powder on my face as the background of the mask, it's look very terrible~ then she started drew my eye-shodow in green colour, in between my eyes and eye-brow, she put many gold powder to make it look more shiny~ then she drew something like flower's shape on my forehead.. it's very beautiful~ finally she added 3 little gold shiny plastic under my left eye~ shiny shiny~~ haha~

Step 1 : white face (terrible.. kowaii~)


Step 2 : green eye-shodow


Step 3 : red flower shape of pattern


Step 4 : gold shiny powder between eyes and eye-brow


Step 5 : 3 little gold shiny plastics (almost complete..)




Step 6 : Completed~~

Just bought a new dress for myself ^__^

this is my new dress.. how? nice? too sexy? haha~ bet ur guys will say this dress must be expensive.. guess wrong.. this dress very cheap.. jz RM10 only.. haha~