ytd really fell damn BLUE~~ haiz~ duno why.. mayb bcoz of the exam time-table?? haiz~ or mayb bcoz of psp?? or mayb bcoz of utar?? my future?? ah~~~ fan sei la~~~~~

2 more weeks will be my exam, 29/4... duno why, i really feel damn scare... i also duno what i scare for, i got study.. since 1 mth ago i ady start study... i got too much for this.. should be no problem ady// but why i still feel so scare... but honestly, mayb i scare the feeling of getting lose.. ya, i always is a proud person..

this few night also chatting phone with jie.. we chat alot.. really alot.. hehe~ but it's really nice chatting with him, at least he will cheer me up with i feeling blue... mayb he himself dun realize this.. he promised me will help me to find a nice condition psp b4 i go kampar, coz there sure will very boring if dun hv something to play.. anyway, thx alot, jie.. hontou ni arrigatto ne~~

found some utar photo from cari forum, was uploaded by some senior who ady studying there.. i really like the environment there.. really hope that i also can study there.. but my mom seem like dun like me to go so far to study, she hope that i can stay at kl to study... but i really hope i can stay outside, i think i really pretty old enough to take care myself.. at least gv me a chance to take care myself.. dun be too over-protect me.. i'm not a small little flower that only can survive under protection of family.. i hope i can be a strong and independent person..

it's ching hua housetype.. fabian ady book 1 room for me in this housetype.. hehe~

here is the behind street of the house

it's the garden~~


garden beside westlake



tis really nice~~

my future room~~ ^^




my toilet~~~

jz back from pc fair... abit tired, head-ache aslo, duno why.. haiz~ wei wen wake me up 11.30am tis morning, ask me accompany her to pc fair, then ok lo, coz long time no see her also.. fren mah, ask me out, sure i'll out geh~~

when i reach klcc meet with her, almost 1pm ady, then we went to take our lunch 2gather, after that then straight away walked to pc fair.. there really got many lenglui leh~~ but i also not bad la.. haha~ wei wen jz wanna ask the price for laptop only.. coz she'll go to shah alam trainning for 6 mths.. gonna stay there... not bad la.. ganbatte ne~~

this few days i keep thinking many thing.. my future.. my way.. what i want in future.. how i gonna to make it better.. mayb ur guys will say no need to think so much.. but, well.. something when i alone.. really will think that much..

chat with fabian last few days... he ady book a room for me at kampar, jz opposite his room, rm270, included all furniture, water and electric bill, broadband.. got toilet inside the room.. near utar, near foodcourt, near bus stop... quite nice also.. and he said if my timetable is match with him, he can fetch me to sch somemore... ya, coz he has a car.. he now planning to move his piano from his hometown to his room, he said if feel free i also can play piano there... knowing me like piano.. hehe~ so now i should start practice my piano skill more ady, coz fabian also good in piano... he said nightscene there nice too, will bring me there when i stay kampar..

okla, fabian, since u so nice to me, i sure will go kampar.. but not bcoz of u ok? coz i really wana go there to study only... hahaha~~

ytd jz went to pj utar there to submit my application form.. hopefully can get offer letter as soon as possible.. then can continue my study life.. i really dun like to work now.... study is better... i know what i want..

29/3/2009

i went back ipoh this day, reached there around 2am, slept.. then around 6am wake up.. wake up so early bcoz our whole family need to go to the grave and visit grandpa.. this is the 1st time we go there visit him.. he looked good, smile very happy.. ya, his photo showing all this feeling to urs.. at least i think he's happy.. jz feeling that... we brought alot of food for him.. and also his favourite XO and meat.. haha~ he sure will very happy see all the food he like.. hehe~

after that we went to a temple.. took some photos.. it's nice..

"YOU HAPPY OK, I HAPPY TOO" lolx~

Wishing tree

Cute rabbits

this really funny, it's mean "IF WANT TO SING, PLEASE GO INTO THE TOILET"

"PRETTY GIRL LIKE LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR" lolx~

jz chatted with albert jz now.. ah~ i know him quite a time also.. 1 or 2 yrs plus.. i dont properly remember.. hehe~ he jz a funny person... feel confortable when chatting with him.. hehe~

he told me many things jz now, told me not always go clubbing.. coz there many ppl smoking.. too smelly.. then i answered him, actually i also not really like to go clubbing... jz asked by fren, sometime muz i to go... somemore, i jz went there for dancing, coz i like dance...

then he said i've been grown up... know what is black and white ady... haha~ of coz i know it...

after then he show me his new pic.. he called it "summer look" lolx~ ^^

handsome rite~

i also got show his my lastest pic, with i took togather with ak ka.. he said nice, and sexy too~ but after that he said, if he is my bf, he'll not let me wear so sexy, or let me go clubbing.. then i answered him, if i'm his gf, i sure will not wear so sexy and go clubbing.. hahaha~ then he asked me, if he is my bf, will i let him go clubbing? i said i will, but must take me along too~

but he said actually he dont like go clubbing, coz wasting time & money, and unhealthy too.. that's why he hate his gf go clubbing, ya~ albert has a gf which older than him 4 yrs, should be 26 yrs ady, 26 yrs old girl still like clubbing? haiz~ that's why sometime albert will fighting with his gf, if she go clubbing, albert will go other club clubbing also, what a funny couple.. haha~

i told albert, if i got bf, sure i'll not go clubbing ady, coz i rather than stick with my bf, it's better than let other guy stick me in clubbing rite? he very touched once he heard i said so.. hehe~

then he told me his gf working in week day, that's why jz can accompany him every friday and stay overnight until saturday, sometime they sure will 'do' at night.. haha~ then i told him, it jz kinda normal thing for a couple.. no need show off ok..

he asked me iznt i still virgin, honestly told him, ya, i'm still.. he's abit surprised, then he gv me some tips, is better than find a virgin guy too, coz in his opinion, some guy will dumb the girl if the girl is still V, coz dun wan to see them pain in the 1st time, hehe~~ but after that he said, now u're special for me, coz u're still V, nowaday not much V left.. haha~

i told him, my 1st time sure will only gv to the guy who i love, and the guy sure muz love me too.. cant simply gv what.. rite? he been touched again and happy to hear that, he said i should thx for myself, then i said no, i should thx my mom coz she got teached my well.. hahaha~

i also got told albert bout xisco.. he fell sorry for him, and really scare him out, now he not really dare to smoke ady.. hehe~

honestly, i really happy 2day to hear that i'm special for albert.. paiseh paiseh.. haha~

12/3/2009

last thurday, i followed my kei mui, siew wah went for clubbing, at bar celona.. we went out at around 11.30pm, her fren come to my house and fetched me.. then we went to pavalian to fetch jess... after that we straight away went to bar celona... really fell so excited.. gan jeong lo~~

once we reach there, we meet with jacqueline and her fren, micho also came together, all our fren add up, around 15 ppls... walao eh, so many rite.. but clubbing must many ppl only fun & nice~~ keke..

when we all went into bar celona, there was a live dancing show... DJ asked 5 couples on stage and danced.. after that, DJ 'force' them for 10 second of FRENCH KISS.. walao eh, all ppl in club went high... hot hot~~~

after that show, we started dancing and drunk.. we all played so enjoying ourself.. micho surprised that i like to dance so much, dance none stop... he hugged me together and danced somomore... i dance with jacqueline and jess too.. also siew wan and ah ka... dance floor fulled of ppl.. many guy make a circle around all of us... all of us getting so high~~

we went back around 3~4am, when i reached home ady almost 5am... damn tired, but feeling nice~ hehe...

ak ka & Me

me & kei mui(siew wah)

me & kei mui(siew wah)

jz chatted with xisco, my feeling now... dunno how to describe.. wanna help, but cannot... 无奈.. few days ago, xisco asked me when i can be his gf, well.. i jz answered him, if u come malaysia, i sure can be ur gf.. bcoz he always asked me this question, and i also used to it ady, sometime i jz thought he was kidding with me, coz he stay in HK.. that's y i asked him come malaysia..

but this time is different, he said he's serious... asked me ok or not? and he also suddenly tell me a very horrible thing, that's is... he has lung cancer... quite serious ady... at first, i thought he's kidding me again, but now april fool hvnt come, and i know him quite a long time, i know him well, he's no that such person will spoke out this kind of joke.. i know him wont..

but... why? why this will happened on him.. he still so young... suppose he still a long journey in his life, still hv many thing he never do before and need to do in future... why? god will treat him in this way... damn...

i dunno what i suppose to talk with him, i ady try my best to cheer him up, but... who still will cheer up if they know they're going to die??? i jz dunno what to do.. dunno what should i say.. god, please tell me what should i do...

he told me many thing, which really touch my heart... he said he want to tell me that actually since we knew, he ady fall in love to me.. no matter how busy he was, he still will try online to chat with me, honestly, i dunno he like me since 2 yrs plus... and the purpose he want to tell me this is bcoz he dont want hv any regret in his life... he want me to know that in his heart, ady has a special place for me... omg..

he hope that i'll never forget him... if in this world got next life... 轮回.. he sure will come and find me, no matther how far i am, or how my look change, he sure can find me out and want me to be his gf... oh, damn... i told him stopped talking bout this, i was crying... i really cried these few night, once i think back what he had told me before... what a poor guy he's, i really feel sorry for him..

and now, he start no dare to facing me... he said he'll try all his best to forget me, althought this will make him suffer, but he must do it...

xisco, i jz want to know u one thing, since we ady know each other quite a long time ady, i'm sure i know u well.. i dont believe u dare to make this kind of joke with me, sure of coz i'll believe u, althought it's really a horrible thing to believe it... i really feel sory for u... if can, i really dont want to lose such a best fren, but what can i do? i really dont want to believe it also...

i not dare to say yes to be ur gf, i think u also know the resason, GF, is a responsibility for me, a responsibility for a girl to take care her bf, to be with him no matter where or what happened, do what ever for her bf if posible... is a strong word and full of responsibility job... all this things, i cant do it for u, no even one of it... i jz dun want to give u a little bit hope, but after that disappoint u... can u understand me??? u still can find me anytime, i'll be here for u, i'm ady to listen what ever that u want to tell me or share with me... i sure will listen..

u not need to run away from me... i'll be ur best fren forver... god bless u....

in this pass 4 mths, i really had did alot of things, went alot of places, meet with alot of different ppls, and did alot of crazy things for i never do b4.. this feeling really hard to explain in word.. but 1 thing that i'm very sure is, i had grow up, no matter is in physical or mentally.. last few mths, when i jz break with jia yong, i really fell like world going to be end, why this will happened to me, but now, i know that it jz a procedure in life.. it's jz a very normal thing.. ppl got fate will be with 2gather, if no fate, will jz like us, be fren or be strange person on life.. the most important thing is, when we're facing something bad in life, we need to learn how to let go.. then everything will be fine, will be just fine..

since last few mth, i start go clubbing with my fren, mostly is with jess and jacqueline, jess said wana to me go all around clubbing in KL and Selangor tim~ haha.. so far i had been go quarttro, poppy, the LOFT, and barcelona only, then next target should be cocobanana, MOS, supper and many more.. hehe~

chop for poppy

chop for bar celona

chop for bar celona (jacqueline & my hands)

chop for bar celona

wah~~ so many wine here~~ wakaka..

jacqueline's smoke, import from japan, this kind of smoke is different with other brand of smoke, this is very smelling, it's size is thiner than other brand, of coz this brand of smoke is jz for lady..

she is dangerous.. she is a bad girl.. hahaha~